Little Dowager

Yesterday before I slept, I wondered how will I handle today’s tuition.

Will I scold my students relentlessly for being lazy and reduce them to tears, or will I tolerate their nonsense once again?

I am pretty fed up with my students lately. Because their English are pretty weak, I never fail to give them spellings every week (sometimes even twice a week), and I specifically said that I would like them to check the dictionary for the meanings to each word.

The very next week, they’ll make my blood boil, giving me excuses after excuses.

Cher I got no time to learn the words. Cher, I lost the list leh, I thought I kiap between my book… Cher, must learn the meanings meh?

Other than that, I sensed that they purposely pull tricks on me like, Cher, I forgot to bring my assessment book home from school, and assorted other nonsenses.

Si bei du lan.

Sometimes I want to scream to their face, “You think I’m stupid is it?! What you’ve tried before, I’ve done them before too! And you! You think I so free to sit down at home and pick cheem cheem words and phrases for you to learn?! You think I come down for 3 hours to accompany you to do your homework, that’s all?! It is either to you initiate to learn, if not don’t waste my time!”

But cannoooot. Sometimes I am amazed when see myself reduced to a meek little lamb Cher in front of them. I had never pointedly chided them with names calling like lazy boy, liar, stupid, for fear of hurting their feelings - ‘cause I know how bad it feels like.

Today, my Primary 5 boy purposely missed my session to attend a party. Intially I was goddamn pissed cause I earlier had intentions not to go as I was sleepy, bloated and cranky as hell (bo bian, vampire teabag day). I had my smelliest face on during the entire session, nitpicking every mistake my Secondary 1 boy made. Poor him.

After awhile, I loosened up and eventually smiled a little when my Sec 1 boy told me stories from his classroom.

And then I pulled out something from my bag.

(siao lah, not a dildo lah!)

Happy Children’s Day. *sheepishly* Hehe, thank you! Cher, you know I youth already leh. Aiyah, I know! But fair lah, you and your brother will have something.

Now I worry for the Pri 5 boy. I hope he really went for the party and not get lost somewhere. I hope he’ll not get smack once he reach home. I hope he will have a good Children’s Day tomorrow. I hope he’ll remember to learn his spelling next week.

I was pretty occupied for the last couple of days. I had to work (yesss! I am finally hired! Albeit for just a short period), I had to give tuitions, I had to head back to school for meetings regarding some upcoming competition and industry project. Despite having no free time to blog, I am one happy girl because I feel like a useful person again.

Let me tell you a little bout my work: It’s actually nothing new that I haven’t done before. Basically I am paid 5 bucks per hour promoting some products at an atrium sale. The products are pretty affordable and useful, without a doubt, they are quite sellable. However, my commission is a puny 2 percent, so I don’t really earn much from it.

This job really bores the hell out of me. I cannot choose the music I wanna listen to cause I am not stationed in a shop but right in the middle of the atrium (Wah Piang! Everlasting Love Songs on repeat for the 8th time!). I cannot sit cause there are no chair, and by the end of the day, my feet hurts as though I weighed like an elephant that just ran a marathon. And because I am hired by my company and not the shop that organized the sale, I cannot chup-siao other stuffs and products; I have nothing to do most of the time but to stand around and wait for customers to browse my stand.

Since I am the only one hired by my company, I am alone most of the time. As you all know right, I am a very shy girl leh. I didn’t really interact with the rest of the staffs there until the girls start smiling and talking to me. Only then did I realised that most of us are from the same campus! (However, the staffs from the afternoon shift don’t really dare to interact with me. Maybe I looked damn fierce and dao?) Oh, and thank god too that I have friends who are nice enough to drop by to meet me for one-hour lunch! (Everbody says, “Awwwwww!” … “Ooorrrh!”)

While working there, sometimes I feel like I am back to square one again. Two years down the road, I am still working in retail, and furthermore, I am even working in the same freaking mall I held my first full-time retail job two years back. It’s felt a little de ja vu, like… I’m 17 again. I am that same girl who had a strong yearning to experience newer things in life, I am that same girl who worked to fulfil some material wishes.

After I chopped off my locks, I seriously thought that I’ll never get to work in retail/service line again because I am just too… different. (I even informed my manager beforehand, as I do not wish to give him a rude shock the next days he sees me!) On my first day there, I even had jitters while walking down the escalator!

As much as I think retail jobs are a no brainer kinda work, with a real test on patience, I still find it interesting at times. You know, like… Monday are not like Sunday, Weekends are big money days, Stock days are tiring days, and zoh boh days are indeed, zoh boh days.

Louis Vuitton and Prada, wanna hire me? Christian Dior also can!

I am excessiveness. Am I a sucker for rules and regulations? I don’t know.

Here are more commandments.

Twelve Commandments for Women

1. Since most women do not know themselves they should try to do so.

2. A woman who buys an expensive dress and changes it, often with disastrous result, is extravagant and foolish.

3. Most women (and men) are color-blind. They should ask for suggestions.

4. Remember-twenty percent of women have inferiority complexes. Seventy percent have illusions.

5. Ninety percent are afraid of being conspicuous, and of what people will say. So they buy a gray suit. They should dare to be different.

6. Women should listen and ask for competent criticism and advice.

7. They should choose their clothes alone or in the company of a man.

8. They should never shop with another woman, who sometimes consciously or unconsciously, is apt to be jealous.

9. She should buy little and only of the best or cheapest.

10. Never fit a dress to the body, but train the body to fit the dress.

11. A woman should buy mostly in one place where she is known and respected, and not rush around trying every new fad.

12. And she should pay her bills.

10 Commandments for Bloggers I’m sure there is another list somewhere on the world wide web. Go find it yourself I have no idea where it’s at.

By the way, he forgot… Thou shalt not plagiarise. Very bad. Boys and girls, do not imitate!

Remember I once quoted a commandment for designer? I discovered it in one of those fashion design books I borrowed last year from school; I thought it was worth keeping so I photocopied that page (along with many more pages).

Here’s the commandments.

Ten Commandments for Designers

Thou shalt not imitate.

Thou shalt not cater.

Thou shalt not seek effectiveness for its own sake.

Thou shalt not employ expedients.

Thou shalt not exploit thyself nor suffer thyself to be exploited by others.

Thou shalt not concern thyself with the opinions of any but the sensitive and the informed.

Thou shalt not give to anyone the thing that he wants, unless for thyself the thing that he wants is right.

Thou shalt not compromise with popular taste nor with fashion nor with machinery nor with the desire of gain.

Thou shalt not be satisfied.

Porter Garnett, 1871-1951

Full Size

A screenshot (is that what you call it?) can say so much bout the kind of user behind the screen.

My screenshot shows that I am an chronic insomniac playing Spider Solitaire half past six in the morning.

My screenshot shows that Firefox is my preferred choice of web browser.

My screenshot shows that I don’t really file and allocate my pictures properly and I have quite a number of rubbish folder on my desktop.

My screenshot shows that I am reading on Peranakan culture.

My screenshot shows that my monitor is a typical monitor, with resolution set at 1024x768.

My screenshot shows that I am an MSN slave, and was once a mIRC junkie. (M… what?!)

My screenshot shows that I another of those wannabe apple-people who can’t wait to get their hands on one of those ooo-so-pweety ipod nano. One day I’ll grrrraaab one out.

What does your screenshot says about you?

Link: Ipod nano wallpaper

Today, I lazily took the bus down to my student’s place. On my way there, I passed by the stop I usually alight at during my secondary school days. There are this Shell petrol kiosk there and a couple of similar looking Indian-Muslim Prata shops.

But that’s no the point…

I saw not one, not two, but three (or maybe even more) kittens at the longkang! Two in orange and one in white! So cute!(oh pardon me) Taking afternoon nap at the longkang!

But cannot. Cannot.

Actually…… I lost my 2nd adopted cat a couple of weeks back. I give up.

Cat poo are stinky. Let’s not keep cats.

I like llama more than cat. (stupid virtual cat don’t make sound one!)
Llama in Yokohama?!
More Llama Shit!

Don’t you just loooove Llama?!

Longkang - Drain.

I am the girl who always says she is broke because she can’t afford to shop. I am the girl who yearns to be different, but always ends up the same. I am the girl who do not wish to grow up, but would like to see the world and be more sophisticated. I am the girl who blames her slow metabolism for everything. I am the girl who you said you’ll never forget meeting. I am the girl who sometime ignores her own feelings for fear of falling into depression. I am the girl who distance herself to hide her shyness. I am the girl who is afraid of bumping into you (and you) on the streets. I am the girl who chopped off her locks in a spur of a moment, and somehow never regret it. I am the girl who needs to be on the move to feel like a useful person.

I am the classmate who blogged bout you and felt guilty when she saw you the next day. I am the classmate who always appeared confident and eloquent during presentations, but that’s because she want you to remember her that way.

I am the designer-wannabe who tried to make clothes for Barbie when she was a child but failed miserably. I am the designer-wannabe who feels as though she is losing her creativity and artistic touches as she grows older. I am the designer-wannabe who badly needs to be inspired by somebody.

I am the friend who misses you so much but couldn’t bring herself to call you out for coffee.

I am the student you cared about even though you are not teaching/no longer teaching her.

I am the daughter who don’t respect or care enough about you. I am the daughter whom you most doted on but ended up hating you somehow. I am the daughter who blamed your good culinary skills for making her fat. I am the daughter who sat with you in the ambulance when you collapsed from stroke.

I am the sister who didn’t had the courage to stand up for you when she saw the fattest boy bullying you in primary school. Till now, that scene still replays in her mind. I am the sister who scratched your face during one of our childish fight, and cried so badly ‘cause she felt goddamn guilty. I am the sister who treated you badly and then apologized to you. And eversince, she swore to treat you better. I am the sister who is greatly envious of you but don’t see the struggle you go through everyday. I am the sister who respects your religious beliefs but secretly hope you will not lapse into preach-y mode when you speak to her. I am the sister who secretly felt happy or worried bout you (you and you) but couldn’t bring herself show that she care.

I am the person who will die with tons of regrets.

I am the blogger who almost cried while doing this.

Do you know I actually enjoy reading Mens’ Magazine? I don’t buy them, but whenever my elder brother or sister buys a copy, I will borrow it (without asking) and try to finish within a day or two.

FHM used to be quite interesting. But when I last read that copy with “the new and god-knows-where-has-she-been” Steph Song on the cover, I just found it… boring. Like, I can “sense” heavy censorship going on. And then it finally dawned on me…

FHM was bought over by a “M”onopoly.

Do we really need another 8 Days?

Anyway… Rejoice, for there is a new Mens’ Magazine in town!

Apparently, they will be featuring 9 heartland girls every issue. So this month is Clubbing Queen, so I assume next month will be CBD Queen… Then after that it’ll be Beach Queen.. Then Grocery Queen, Market Queen, Hawker Queen, Bargain Queen, Shopping Queen…

I digress. So which is your favorite Queen?

Don’t ask me which girl is my favorite as I personally know two of them. I may be bias…

Anyway, I heard (from Catbury) the mag cost $3.80 only. I hope it’s good.

I spent the last three hours tidying my room. Ok lah, more like, I tidied for two hours and stoned the rest of the time looking at things I had long forgotten. After awhile, I got bored so I came online.

Wah lao, I have so many things in my room that I have no idea how to deal with them! I have one whole drawer of paperworks, mostly projects and handouts from lessons. I’m torn between keeping them and selling them to Garang Guni! I think I will sell after I complete my third year…

I have one shelf full of fashion magazines; the latest one was from April, I think. I have one drawer of art materials, and there are many empty tubes of paints inside, and I have two bagful of storybooks with weird titles like, “Samurais of Seletar” (or is it MacRitchie?). So basically, my career backup plan is to be a Garang Guni lady.

Some things can be sold, while others can be thrown away. But I have these two items in my room I can’t bear to sell or discard.
I did this acrylic painting when I was in Sec 4. It is a replica of Marc Chagall’s I and the Village.
This is the original. The reason why mine was in half is because… The lower portion was not done by me and my replica was not to scale as the canvas was kinda longish.

I can’t bear to throw this away because I had a lot of fun painting it with my eight other classmates from Arts class. I remember we had to wear black trash bag as “aprons” to protect our uniform from Acrylic paints (it’s impossible to wash them away once stained!) .

If there is one thing I die die must missed bout my secondary school life, it would be those 3 hours art lessons I had in Sec 3/4 and my teacher of four years - Miss Khairani. In those three hours, we can forget bout mugging, ten year series, tests, and exams. We played with ideas and colours. We shared our inspirations and we discuss to improve.

We had a very creative atmosphere in class. It was… fun.

I have this A1 board lying around in my room. It’s collecting dust but I can’t bear to throw it away!

It used to have a bag on it, but I took it out cause it badly need a wash - The board was displayed for over a year!

I did this last year for my visual merchandising project; We had to construct our boards in 2 and a half hour flat. Just imagine the mess we made in the class! I will never forget how Moley Rapper helped me out as I was behind time then.

Nevertheless, it was one of the more memorable project I did. Although I’m no longer pursuing this area of specialism, the lecturer in charge is one of my favorite lecturer around.

Wah lao, I’ll never get rid of anything in my room if I remain so sentimental!

I am a bag lady. When I go window shopping, I derive much more joy and satisfaction looking at bags and shoes than looking at pretty clothes.

Bag lady, you gonna hurt your back Dragging all them bags like that I guess nobody ever told you All you must hold on to Is you, is you, is you
One day, all them bags gonna get in your way

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