I had wanted to write about regrets, my regrets. When I wrote about 3 paragraphs, I realised I cannot type good english today and also, I was drifting off-topic. And so I deleted everything that I had previously typed and wrote this line.
And now, I will carry on into whatever thing that is on my mind.
Okay lah, I don’t have a particular topic in mind now, but I am thinking of someone. Someone whom I shared many simple happy moments with. Someone I cared so much for, but at times, I just wanna ignore him. Not because I can’t stand him, but because I dislike being the initiative one. I might appear desperate.
I’m NOT.
Sometimes I choose to ignore how much I feel for him, cos I think he may not feel the same way. Often, I catch myself thinking bout him, only to re-butt myself, telling myself not to be silly.
Sometimes I feel disappointed, and at times I feel devastated over silly little issues. Sometimes I console myself, at other times I wish him well.
Maybe I’m not good enough for him.
I wish you bluebirds in the Spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss, but more than this, I wish you love!
- Lisa Ono, I wish you love
We used to share songs between one another. He would intro me “old but not so old” music, and I would be the one updating him with “new but not so new” music. He influenced me in many ways; I doubt I can listen to the music I have now without reminding myself of him.
Strangely, I can’t carry on with this post. I can’t find a song to end it.Nothing seems appropriate.
