Little Dowager

Musings7 September, 2005

On the bus earlier today, I spaced out and wondered what type of teacher/mentor/tutor would I be if I were to teach and guide a younger one.

Will I be strict, unfeeling and demanding towards my pupil? Or will I spoonfeed my pupil and guide him/her through babywalk steps? Will I be the egoistic sort who goes on and on about my education background, or the philosophic kind who teaches everything but topics from the syllabus?

I never like to teach/tutor, I took up the assignment simply ‘cause I need to pian jiak. As much as I can tolerate shit like waiting for people, I doubt I have the patience or good heart to guide a young one and make them learn.

Did I tell you I am quite wary of kids? (Damn The Singapore Brainest Kids! They intimidate me!) I like infants and toddlers; but I am afraid of kids. The kind that I have seen in the past when I worked in the service line are scheming, spoilt and bratty.

But my first two tuition kids proved me wrong!

It was quite a breeze tutoring them even though I myself had jitters in the beginning. I had expected them to be boys, and yes they are. (NO, I am NOT grinning like a paedophile!) One is a primary 5 kid, and the other, a sec 1 boy.

Boys will be boys - I know they are the playful and cheeky sort. But throughout the 3 hours session, they were pretty well-behaved and polite. Nothing like the lazy and bratty school kids I had expected.

I let my guards down when I spoke to them. They are friendly and innocent. They have no qualms about telling me they felt nervous while calculating. They have an air of candor and they spoke without any pretence of trying to impress me.

For the first time, I am actually tutoring kid maths when I myself failed my O-level maths miserably. (Oh well, I retook and got a B3 eventually smirk)

And for the first time, I dared to speak to kids.

Institu-retardation

Before I can begin my holiday in peace, I have one more shit round to go through: Portfolio Review.

Wah Lao. Have to kang my work go there and get roasted for 15mins.

I remembered how I screwed up on my portfolio review one year ago - I stuttered and blabbered my way through ‘cause I felt goddamn intimidated by “The (then) Biggest Lady”. And I think that’s why they picked me to be among the best/worst 28 students they chose to see.

I seriously have no idea why they picked me. I’m not particularly good in some subjects ( I didn’t hand in one project… and I almost failed a subject, remember?), but I am not particularly bad either (I shall spare you the agony of listening to my egoistic rants). I think they selected me to see if I can stutter/blabber like before and they can laugh at me brou-ha-ha style after I leave the room.

No lah. Stuttering not my style anymore. Can overcome the review as easy as killing an ant. No sweat. psycho myself psycho

But still…… Troublesome lah!