I am a bag lady. When I go window shopping, I derive much more joy and satisfaction looking at bags and shoes than looking at pretty clothes.

Bag lady, you gonna hurt your back Dragging all them bags like that I guess nobody ever told you All you must hold on to Is you, is you, is you
One day, all them bags gonna get in your way

I think it has been around one week since I last logged in to my friendster account. I used to be pretty hyped about it; I thought I could find anyone I once knew, on Friendster. If one year ago, someone told me that he/she does not have an account over there, I would think they are living under a rock. Like, come on! It’s UbEr K0oL ‘n’ EveRyb0dy’s on fWeNsTer!

Come to think of it, what’s so fun bout browsing through various profiles of people who ostentatiously portray who they are by acting cute and idiotic?! Do one actually derive joy and feel egoistic ‘cause his/her profile was viewed 345 times?! What do people actually do on Friendster? Wait for members of the opposite sex to send compliment via messages?

One year later, I don’t see the novelty in friendster anymore. Can I say, this is part of growing up?

I personally do not like to log in to my account. It brings back too many unhappy memories, like my stalker episode and the He-have-no-time-for-me story. It reminds me of people best left forgetten, people I am still trying to forget, and people whom I can’t help but care about.

If I really took my time to browse through the profiles of those who once meant something to me, I’ll feel like a stalker myself. I hate that feeling.

Girl, I know sometimes it’s hard and we can’t let go Oh, when someone hurts you oh so bad inside You can’t deny it, you can’t stop crying So oh, oh, oh If you start breathin’

And so I thought, Why don’t I delete my account? It should be easy as 1, 2, 3!

But no, it’s not.

If I delete my account, it means the last remaining tie between me and Chris will be gone… If I delete my account, would I be considered the LOSER by my then-stalker? If I delete my account, I would lose all my testimonials!

You see, my pride got in the way, and I obviously did not wish to let go of the past.

Bag lady you gone miss your bus You can’t hurry up Cause you got too much stuff When they see you comin’ Niggas take off runnin’ From you, it’s true Oh, yes they do Erykah Badu - Bag Lady Lyric

Moments ago, I decided. Things happened for a reason, they ended for a reason, and we are over for a reason too.

It’ll hurt if I finds out he had moved on with a new girl, it’ll hurt if I realise he had gotten married, it’ll hurt if I know he is having a merrier time than me. Either way, I’ll be the one fucking hurt cause I’m still angry and pinning over the past. I’m angry over history.

I had decided to let go. I deleted my account. Along with it, went the pain, anger and regrets.

It’s not just “a friendster profile” to me. To me, it’s my excess luggage.
Goodbye Samsonite. Hello Furla.