The shit had fallen, and they are still falling.
I’ve been actively involved in this school/industry collaboration project since October. When I volunteered for it, I just thought it would be good to build up my portfolio and gain some experience out of this project. Actually, I wasn’t even very serious bout it initially as I had half-expect things to screwed up – the last project didn’t materialize as the previous client turn down before signing the project agreement.
Almost two months has gone by since our first meeting. With our theme finalized and various minor but troublesome changes made, we are almost close to wrapping this shit up.
I can’t pinpoint what is it that eventually made me so buzzed up about this project.
Maybe it is my perfectionism; I hate to screw things up. Maybe it’s because I’m prideful; I do not wished to be judged as the weakest link in this team. Maybe I truly wished this project will materialized; for I had been disappointed before. Maybe I believe that “Anything worth doing is worth doing well”. Or maybe, I felt solely responsible as I got lucky with my designs.
Out of this project, all members are my friends. Some are even my very good friends whom I hangout with. But when it comes to work, we are members and we work together. Unfortunately, the way they work sometimes irked me to a breaking point. Being good friends didn’t make things any easier for me.
I don’t think I am a cry-on-cue kind of girl. I feel crying is somewhat therapeutic, yet I hate to cry in front of people. If I had known that this project will make me breakdown two freaking times in front of my course manager (!!!) and countless times alone, I would not take on it.
Some “outsiders” would probably find it fake to catch me laughing like a hyena with my good friends as though nothing happened earlier that morning. Fuck them. They don’t understand that I put up with the collective shits of other people.
To quote from Jayaxe, “The one who laughs the loudest; cries the saddest”.
There many times where you would realised that sometimes friends and work cannot be mixed together.
Well, looks like you did not come out of this empty handed for you learned a lesson about frienship and its intricacies in the work environment. You also learn more about those friends of yours.
It’s an experience in life, something that cannot be thought in the classroom.
Take it easy.
Comment by Jay "Be Strong" Walk — 3 December, 2005 @
don’t worry too much about the tears. the freer your emotions the healthier you are, now and later.
the problem is when you need to cry and you can’t. i’ve known that one, and believe me when i tell you it is a bitch — far more of a problem than being embarrassed by what you might mistakenly believe is a sign of weakness in front of other people.
they’ll get over it, but you’ll get over it sooner
Comment by fortycalibernap — 3 December, 2005 @
*hugs. sucks to work with friends, I know. Kinda taints the friendship.
Comment by becca — 4 December, 2005 @
Sad to say, I understand that having friends in a project team isn’t a good idea. It’s not just a matter of whether it’ll end up in fights or what, but sometimes it’s hard to make your peers cooperate with you.
Comment by Jayaxe — 4 December, 2005 @