Little Dowager

Today had been a very spontaneous day. Boss picked me up to go for meeting the hansem buyer, I went. Boss then drove me and Mrs Merchandiser to Suntec to to check out some labels, we went. Boss decided to give me a lift to the Graduation fashion show at National Library, we went (albeit that we were very late and the show was already over by then).

I like being driven around. Look out the car window, observe the buildings, the signs, and wonder what goes on behind the wall, what happened to these places 10 years ago, 20 years ago… Since my family don’t own a car, I often feel it’s a luxury to drive/driven around.

When we drove down Macpherson Road, many buildings appeared suspiciously familiar to me. I felt as thought I’ve ever stayed there before - in the early eighties with my 30something mum & dad and the paternal grandma I always feel I never had. The truth is, I live at Kovan all my life and I was only born the mid-eighties.

Also along Macpherson, those rows of shophouses reminds me of another person again. I wonder how many design firms are situated here, who worked here before, how is their work and life like. Is the workload as heavy and is their life as hectic? How does it really feel like, driving down to their office every morning and off to home late into the night?

I like being driven around. Relax and enjoy the scenery. Daydream and wonder bout other people’s life. But it’s a totally different thing to be the one driving though.

I’m so bored inside the office one day that I comtemplated picking up that pack of Salem (which so conveniently came with a matching Salem lighter) sitting right in front of me.

Who cares if it’s stale already? Who cares if it belonged to someone who no longer works here? I’m here and it’s MINE.

I totally forgot bout how I’ll get gastric and headaches once I smoke. Thank god I forgot about it once the clock reach Six.

Eeee. Stale cigs. What was I thinking?!

Sometimes I wonder, will I turn out like Mother Goose? Someone who devotes too much time to work, don’t meet enough new people, not married at 30++, not feminine enough and too bloody demanding.

I don’t want, I don’t want, I don’t want.

I BETTER start imagine myself dating someone long term, then married, then finally having kids with him.

Cos like how my colleague told me, “you must think on the positive side cos you will get what you hope for”. Oh really?

I just got home an hour ago. Had to OT till 930pm cos I kena a big project in last minute. Tomorrow I’ll be going with my boss to present this BIG project to the hansem buyer I met the other day. All he cares about is the project and all I care about is what to wear tomorrow.

I hope I don’t malu myself tomorrow. I hope I don’t stutter tomorrow. I hope don’t use the wrong word when I describe the project to hansem buyer tomorrow. Cos he’s a damn meticulous person.

My shoulder, neck and arms have never ache like this before. How I wish there is someone to massage my fat arms and hammer my shoulder gently. (Reminds me of how I ever massaged someone and really hammered him hard on the back. The next day he complained that it ached even more. Hee Hee. Oh well, practice makes perfect.)

Now now, I need to take a hot shower and do a nice nice manicure on my mouse-beaten hand. Do excuse me now.

MEME of 100:

1 Birthdate? 2nd May

2 Place of birth? Singapore

3 Blood type? A+

4 Height? 123

5 Weight? 456

6 Shoe size? 37 or 38

7 Work? Study? At the place where I am not learning, nor keen to learn.

8 Childhood nickname? San Xiao Jie (literally means, Third Little Missy)

9 Average hours you sleep in a day? 4 or up to 16 hours.

10 Time you go to bed? 330 on average.

11 Any siblings? an elder sis and bro, another younger bro. 27, 26 and 18 respectively.

12 Eyesight – short-sighted, long-sighted or perfect? 3.75 both eyes.

13 What languages do you speak? English, Chinese, Hokkien. I only knows how to go A B C D in French.

14 What languages would you like to speak? CANTONESE!!! That’s the local language of fashion. I kid you not.

15 Nickname on Messenger? I’m afraid I’ll have to kill you…

16 What do you collect? Trinkets, pendants, buttons, and accessories. Fabrics are nice; but they are too bulky. I think I need to switch to Money.

17 Model of handphone you are using? It’s Ancient. 8210. And I don’t care.

18 What is on your shopping list? Money can’t give me what I want right now: a satisfying future career and the drive in life.

19 Favourite t-shirt brand? Nothing in particular.

20 Favourite cut of jeans? Boot cut, thought I do have a thing for Skinny jeans now.

21 Favourite fashion designer? Frankly, I haven’t been keeping track. So I don’t really know.

22 Favourite clothing label? Topshop, Dorothy Perkins.. Don’t really give a shit as long as it’s nice.

23 Favourite shoe label? I don’t stick to a label cause they all tend to suck after awhile.

24 Favourite bag label? Haven’t notice any label that I really like.

25 Most dominant colour in your wardrobe? Too many black. The worse thing is, I don’t wear them anymore.

26 Most worn-pair of shoes? School shoes turn ballet flat.

27 Favourite shampoo? Nil

28 Favourite conditioner? Nil

29 Favourite bath product? Nil

30 Favourite facial product? Clean n Clear or loreal.

31 Favourite cosmetics? I like Bourgois very much. Pharmacy price cosmetics masquerading as high-end dior-type. Hee Hee.

32 Favourite art movement? Art Deco.

33 Favourite artist? Eh, Marc Chagall. Cause he is the only painter I ever studied abt.

34 Favourite gallery? What gallery?

35 Favourite cold drink? Chin Chow in a can.

36 Favourite hot drink? Black coffee.

37 Favourite flavour of ice-cream? Chocolate or coffee.

38 Favourite cuisine? Chinese.

39 Favourite sandwich? Ham & Cheese

40 Favourite cake? Coffee cheesecake that I once made..

41 Favourite chocolate? Chocolate with Hazelnut

42 Favourite fast food? Mac or LJS

43 Favourite sushi? Mayonnaise crab or the orangey roe.

44 Favourite breakfast? Mac Donald’s Sausage Muffin with Egg

45 Spaghetti – tomato, cream or pesto sauce? cream

46 Beef – rare, medium rare, medium, well-done? I don’t really eat beef…

47 Restaurant you frequent most? Mac or LJS

48 Best dining experience? Beer session with C along East Coast.

49 Worst dining experience? With someone along Serangoon Gardens.

50 Favourite book? Big big of Astrology! Blah.

51 Favourite movie? 40 yo virgin, King Kong, American Beauty, kill bill, pulp fiction, sin city.

52 Favourite artist writer? You want artist or writer?

53 Favourite actor? Clive Owen, Jakey Jake, Adrien Brody.

54 Favourite actress? Uma Thurman

55 Favourite record? urh…..

56 Favourite singer? Sade

57 Favourite band? Sugababes, can?

58 Favourite lyrics? urhhhhh…

59 Favourite TV show? Whose line is it anyway, The family guy, Project Runway, The Simpsons.

60 Favourite newspapers? URBAN

61 Favourite magazine? Harper’s Bazaar

62 Favourite flower? Rose.

63 Favourite animal? Cats.

64 Favourite country? France or Japan.

65 Favourite street (in your country)? Tiong Bahru.

66 Favourite street (overseas)? uhhhhhhhhhh…..

67 Favourite sport? What?

68 Scariest movie? Any thing with Zombies.

69 Funniest movie? 40 yo virgin.

70 Favourite leisure activity? Sleep (too much), sex (too little), eat (too much).

71 Favourite public transport? Taxi or bus.

72 Favourite weather? Rainy or windy day

73 Dream honeymoon destination? Bali.

74 Computer you use? Compaq at home, Powerbook at work. I love the latter more.

75 Wallpaper on your computer? Some b/w graphic I found somewhere.

76 Screen saver on your computer? Window

77 How many hours on the internet a day? 12hr on average.

78 Favourite blog? Spirit Fingers

79 Favourite news site? Shoutwire

80 Favourite site? Bloglines

81 First pet? Some stupid hamster.

82 Favourite cartoon from childhood? The Simpsons. Even though I didn’t understand a single dialogue then.

83 Favourite toy from childhood? Barbie

84 What makes you smile? Money, lots of them and someone I know I’m going to marry.

85 What makes you cry? E.T phone home or King Kong fall down.

86 Which celebrity would you like to be? Scarlett Johansson. Her boobs.. Her boobs is..

87 What colour would you be if you are a crayon? Red or dark olive.

88 If you can go back in time, which period would you want to be in? 2004, with I was 18.

89 If you can have your own business, what would you venture into? Retailing accessories/bags/shoes. Or a guerilla concept store. Or mabbe a supermarket, haha.

90 What TV program would you like to go on? Project Runway. I’ll be booted out first!

91 How satisfied are you with your current situation? Would be better if I have more money, come in later, knock off earlier, have a driving license, get over my fear of driving, and last but not least, driving a Tuscani. I’ll trade everything I asked earlier for a good boyfriend.

92 What would you rather be doing if you have a choice? Be my own boss or just a freelance designer.

93 The most important thing that has happened in your life? Falling in and out of love for real.

94 What do you think you’ll be doing 5 years down the road? Still paying off my tuition loan.

95 Most desired now? Strike 4D and lose some flab.

96 Biggest worry now? MONEY and dry skin.

97 Most unforgettable incident? Kissing someone truly special for the first time.

98 New year resolution? No resolution. No wonder I suck now.

99 Your motto in life? Passion baby. It’s all about the passion.

100 Who do you want to answer “100 Things About Me”? The person who is still reading this.

Lovely.

I lost everything on my desktop. All because I itchy finger, decided to uninstall something that I have no use for. All my songs, all the movies, all the backup of my work. 13gb of them. FUCK. Even my favourite game is gone.

Strangely, it only affects those things on my desktop. Now it’s as clean as a baby’s ass.

FUCKING HELL.

Does anyone knows anyway to recover my stuff?! I’m not worried bout my work cause I have them on my thumbdrive; but it pisses me off big time when I lose all the movie I haven’t watch!!!

V for Vendetta, Memento, Se7en, Stewie Griffin: The untold story, Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. ARRUGHFUCKITOFDSFJNSJNSHNDHELL.

Help me and I’ll give u a DVD copy of each movie.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I should have op for V for Vendetta, but I went for this movie instead.

Didn’t seemed like a bad thing when we going through the credit in the beginning. The sound effects, coupled with the occasional popping of some pictures… It all seemed really promising.

Unfortunately, it was damn slow-mo, there’s too much talking, there isn’t enough get-cha-heart-racing effects to build up the… fears, and yada yada, you know.

This movie is all about ugly faces, splash of blood, bits of fleshes here and there, that’s all. And all the characters annoys the hell out of me. I don’t know why, but they just unlikeable mofos.

Why do they talk so much? Why are they arguing so much? Why does it takes so long to fill up a fucking tank? How long is this scene going to be??!?! Where are the freaks??!? Why are they still talking so much?!?!? Why isn’t he/she killed?! Ooh, nice dress. Why do the stupid dogs keep running away?! WHY?! Why am I sitting here?!

The only scene that really entertained me was when the protagonist got locked up in this “case” with chopped up body parts.

If you have watch this movie, come ponder with me: Why does the man in the gas station needs so much of whatever he has gotten in that bag when he’s staying in the middle of nowhere?

Like he have anyone decent to trade with, duh.

$3 outta $9.50

0548am.

I give up working on my supp.

ARGH. I hate craft work/weaving/knitting/crocheting/yada yada.

It’s so dull here. Mother goose is not in, so I’m sorta free to do whatever I want ‘cept for certain things I wanna do but can’t. (like, jiggle a little and dance around)

Can’t wait to get my pay! So I can get a new specs in red! I love how the red frame complements my skintone so much, I’m kinda sick of this purple one that I’m wearing, furthermore it’s crooked!

Other than that, I hope to finally get the parts and material for the business. Can’t possibly wait till the last moment then I begin to make the “things” right? All creations need tender loving care, and precious time. Hehehe.

Next, I need super strong foundation powder! My dark eye circles have always been permanently there, and the constant lack of sleep have made them even more prominent! I need something that has the quality of ICI Duluxe paint, so they can cover my dark eye circles, and yet do not crack into pieces when I smile. I also want a new blusher in a pretty pretty rose shade! Don’t you think blushy cheeks are the most beautiful feature of a girl, right after long and curly lashes and nice eye brows?

And then, it wouldn’t kill if I can get some nice moccasins! And some nice art deco-ish rings! Wouldn’t kill if I get a great bag too…! I’m dying to get a cherry red mock leather bag! All that I can find is menstrual red, which id fugly and makes one look damn old.

YESSSSS. I can go home already!

I cannot say anything more bout this, but snigger aloud with my colleague.

Yess. This is the kind of stuff I do. Well. Sort of.

Yesterday I came upon this revelation when I was rushing my work out.

Designers are lonely people who yearns for company, especially when they are mulling through the nights, working on a project.

I don’t know how true is this statement, but why do I always feel this throbbing sense of loneliness and a strong yearning for company emanating from me and people I know, when we have to burn the midnight oil?

Maybe suffering loves company.