Little Dowager

This week has been rather unkind to me.

I got food poisoning since Tues, and my stomach gurgled spasm of discomfort one after another.

Then I accidently aggravated that 2 particular SOB molars on the right side of my jaw. You are not going to believe how much it hurt yesterday - I have to take panadol every 4 hours to numb the pain.

So I finally brought up the courage and went to the dentist. Compared to the pain, the sweet sound of the dental drills was music to my ears. I had amalgam filling done to 3 tooth, it still hurts like fuck sometimes, but at least I know it is in a better condition now.

And just when I thought everything bad is going to be over, I am now down with a fever. =(

Everytime I start working on my final year project, my subconscious mind will start worrying bout my future. I double-check the realness of the situation, and question the actuality of my future career as a fashion designer.

Even though I’ve already been offered a position as a designer in my current company, my boss is not able to promise me a fat pay check for the moment. As a student, I see this company as a place full of learning opportunities, but once I am out of school, will this place still be a platform for me to learn and grow, or a stagnant contentment? Will Boss still put in effort to groom me or simply hope that I stay with her based on the gratitude I have for her?

I want to go overseas and study, but I doubt my family will be able to afford the daunting figures in pounds.

And by the time I save up enough to go over, I am definitely going to live the life of a starving and poor student again.

But remember J, Contentment is easier than Ambition. But Ambition can change your Fred Perry to a Bally tomorrow.

I spent $18 bucks last month and bought my first UK Vogue - with Kate Moss on the cover.

After going through it, I decided never to spend my money on any other local fashion magazines other than: - Harper’s Bazaar - Style - and Men’s Folio

And Men’s Folio is probably one of the more sophisticated and only fashion-dedicated local Men’s magazine I’ve ever read.

I’ve never seen this mag before, so I’m not sure if it’s new. It’s a bi-monthly publication and it’s only SGD$4.80. Just go check out your nearest 7-11.

No one does the Eighties like Janet does. She’s so awesome.

Recent performance. Nasty on Oprah

(more…)

Today I wanna shout out and declare, I really love my job.

BIG smile

What a lovely song. If you know what it means, hur hur hur and high-five to ya.

If not, just enjoy looking at her heaving bosom.

The lack of activities, lack of money, lack of company and attention is making me uphappy lately.

I really missed my friends, and the crazy 4pm tea break we have in school. So much food, so much laughter, squeezed into the short one hour break of the day. In that moment, we forget about deadline, the sewing machines, and whatever garment left half-done.

I wish I still have school, being occupied in my everyday life - cause I am really not used to being so free all of a sudden.

I wish you’ll still bother to call and sms me. I wish I hadn’t taken those time for granted.

When I saw this I really wanna die.

Really wanna die.

My life is like a whirlpool right now.

I am spun into a flurry of activities, commitments, feelings. Things I wanna do, need to do, die die must do. So many things all at once. It leaves me with no gap of moving space, but I never feel so alive. =)

this.