Little Dowager

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

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When I was in secondary school, I discovered that I could draw realistically.

I aced still-life rendering in secondary school easily, drawing cross-sections of lime, peaches and green pepper like they were meant for science textbooks. Getting an A was not a problem for me.

Then one day, this talent mysteriously disappeared. Ever since then, every shape I drew with my hand were formed by many straight lines. Funny thing is, I can’t draw a straight line straight without rulers.

An egg will be formed by 3-4 semi-curve lines. A curve is formed by 3-4 semi-straight lines.

Take a look at my sketches, and you’ll know what I mean.

Then take away my colour pencils, I wouldn’t be able to put down light and shadows. I just don’t know how to do it in lead pencils.

And then I realised I can’t draw things symmetrically. One side is curvier/sharper/bigger/smaller than the other. And so, I end up shaping it slimmer/wider/smaller/bigger with many many strokes.

I thought I would ace my figure drawing class back in my 1st year, but I only got a paltry B (or C, cannot remember). I remembered how I struggled through that module, knowing that I could draw, but couldn’t produce the work satisfactorily.

My ‘inability’ to draw is frustrating me. It makes a usually patient person like me, impatient. Sometimes it frustrate me so much, that I rather draw by computer program. Just so I don’t have to bother bout erasing those ugly pencil marks.

Tell me, how to be a designer like that?

How to be a designer when one cannot produce decent, proportionate sketches in a snap?!

Super low-morale now.

Often touted as the harsher version of Gemma Ward.

Not as pretty; not as sweet; not as humane looking as Gemma.

Just the way I like it.

If I had a choice for a muse, IT would be her.

From www.sashapivovarova.com (p/s: I love the first song there; it’s by Thievery Corporation, Until the Morning)

I feel like a terrible mess tonight.

Mabbe I need some change in my life. Like a haircut or something.

Stop crying my heart out… please.

Not fun, not exciting, not stimulating.

Sorry I was a little quiet last night, but something this bad decidedly belongs to the bad guy category.

You are a nice guy, but I couldn’t envision anything more beyond this.

Bye bye.

I’ve known so many designer-friend-student, student-designer-friend, friend-designer-student and those that intrigues me the most are those who love typography.

Some of them even have their one “true love”.

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I just gotta do this before school becomes an irrelevant subject to me.

Frequency? Whenever it strikes.

would appreciate if you stop calling.

ThankyouverymuchforyourappreciationbutIamnotverykeen.

I am not usually big on black R&B female artiste, but Amerie is a league above the rest.

Beyonce is good, Ciara is cute, but Amerie is more exquisite than anyone else.

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Gosh. I’m becoming such a knitting enthusiast, that I’m collecting knitting needles now.

Wait till you see my colour stash of yarns.

Note to self 1: buy cheap knitting tools at Daiso.

Note to self 2: look out for cheap knitting yarns.