Little Dowager

Sorry Sis,

I don’t think I have the magnanimity to lend you the camera. My cosmetics, my bags, my handphone, even my dress from my school assignment - yes. But not the camera.

You see, you just stupidly lost your brand new high-tech handphone (which I estimate, cost at least $600) during your trip to Malaysia. And before that, you lost 2 of your handphones. I don’t know how can I entrust my camera to you, especially when I know you’re taking it out to your drinking-cum-networking session.

You know I love you, but let’s not waste another $800.

Annoying people are everywhere, but no one takes the cake like this particular colleague who uses her Skype as a very good reason to talk crap with whoever is on the other line.

It’s not even the volume that bothers me.

“Wo piack piack ni de pi gu ah! *hearty chortle*” “Wei! Se mo si?! Wei! Wei! WEI! Se mo?! Se mo?! Ah, wei se mo?!” “Ni zhe ge sha gua blah-blah-blah-blah…” Insert *hearty chortle* randomly. And speak in heavy Malaysian accent.

It drives me fucking nuts, to be aurally bombarded with such inane and childish exchange everyday. To put it succinctly in Hokkien, it is really “Kong Sai Wei” (Talk shit).

You can just imagine the hokkien expletives going off in my head when I hear her voice/hearty chortle.

“CB! On the phone again. Cio cio cio… Cio lan lah.”

Singapore is a small island. To get around from point A to B should be fast, easy and affordable. But for some, it clearly does not work that way.

Sometimes I wonder, are taxi companies specifically targeting the rich expats in Singapore? They have raised the fare to a disgusting new high - clearly they have forgotten that some elderly/handicapped Singaporeans do need public transport to get around for their medical checkups, etc. Combine the cab fares with their heavily subsidized (but still expensive) medical/prescription bills - being old and/or sickly in Singapore is truly no joke.

Wheelchair friendly buses and train stations? Forget it! I personally have NEVER seen anyone boarding the bus with a wheelchair. Have you?

Does breathing in the odour of a smoker constitute to secondhand smoking?

I don’t usually have a thing against smoker; I loved some, I kissed some. But the Auditor behind me really smells like a pair of really stale cigarette trays. The rosy scent of my Stella McCartney wilted in her presence.

Pardon me, while I hide in the Pantry.

I have absolutely no idea why The Sis tends to attracts loser-ish male who can’t handle a break up.

They come to my house, beg and cry, often drunk while humiliating themselves. Mr. El Cheapo Namecard is the most recent case.

The Mom just have this knack for seeing through the type of guys we bring home. One from my sis was labeled a Possessive Egoist, the type that wants to hold down the woman’s freedom to learn and excel. I absolutely despise such men - go get a mail order bride and shove her a cheap ring from Taka Jewelry, if you want a woman to bear you children and cook and clean after you.

Mr. El Cheapo Namecard didn’t impress my mum either. She felt that he talks too much for a man, which instantaneously diminishes his charm factor.

“哇，没有见过一个男人比女人更会讲话！”

I doubt my mum would be impressed with the type of men I had dated, but one smart thing on my part, I never bring them home.

Popped by the office earlier to collect the long due paycheck. Thank god ex-boss was out, we really can do without the small talk today.

Saw Ms. Tiger Beer, she still looks like a 38 after 3 months. Maybe a little under-dressed than usual, but no surprise, considering she’s the only little helper left. Maybe now she’ll fully understand the feeling of being crushed under a mountain of workload with no one else to turn to.

I regret that I agreed to help out with some designs. I thought it has little to do with Tiger Beer, unfortunately I was “duped” her girlfriend’s carefully worded messages.

Don’t know why I call her Ms. Tiger Beer, with her love for leopard prints, she should be Ms. Leopard Beer what…

To be honest, I don’t dislike my ex-boss. One day we may work together again, but one day will never happen until the leopard is out of the picture.

tells me to turn her down.

Seriously, what makes her think I enjoy working with her girlfriend, Ms. Tiger Beer?

Yes, I would love to make some money (I would LOVE to collect that 2-months-old check), but I’m not that hard up yet.

Next life, bitches!

I have a friend. She thinks she’s doing better than me. Maybe she is, I don’t really care.

Lately she has taken an interest to advice me, help me through the rough time. You know, like a personal cheerleader?

She likes to know what am I doing, whether am I actively looking for a new source of income. She would encourage me to do things that I have no confidence nor interest in, push me harder, instill doubts puts questions in my head. She tells me how to go to sleep when she realized I’m having trouble sleeping. She doesn’t know that I drink, bet she would share a few recipes with me and then tell me to cut down. And she worries about my money.

Although sometimes I noticed she doesn’t hear me, I’m too tired to scream anyway.

(more…)

oh oh.. wtf?! she sent me a msg.

“Hello how are you. Hope you’re fine. And I’m glad to see you’ver ecovered so fast. Yep that’s about it.”

i know that girl has got anorexia. she’s a living sample.

is she more fuckedup or a,m i more fucked up? god knows wad’s in her mind sometimes. she’s so weird. nono, please dont go softhearted now.

i hv nop fuckin idea wat to reply man. for the moment, i just wanna be a bitch and ignore it.