Hot balmy afternoon.
Just had a cold shower.
Sitting in my bedroom, applying moisturiser to my body.
No work tomorrow.
Going out to the beach. With a hunk.
Suddenly it feels like Miami.
Special People, Hedonism20 January, 2008
I think I discovered a way to eradicate my bout of loneliness.
Go home before 7pm, before the street lights turn on.
I have a strange habit of spacing out on the bus. Every streetlights and headlight turn into bokeh in my eyes. Coupled with some smooth jazz and slow jams on my ipod, it really makes me long for any form of company, and I’ve done some crazy thing because of that crazy bout of loneliness.
Smoking outside alone at 4am in the morning? Check that.
Drink myself silly in the privacy of my room? Hell yes.
Don’t even get me started on those that involves other individual.
I think the only person who can contain my sometimes self-destructive manner is my mom. Surprise surprise.
who needs her fix sometimes.
The need to feel creative, in control and motivated. It amplifies the music from my ipod in my ear, making every twing twang sound extra lovely.
The fix which leaves behind no stale odor like a fag. A small little pill.
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Is it any wonder the more I blog here, the more I feel I couldn’t share my true self? Someday I feel so hopeful and yet so lost at the same time.
Pardon me while I go look for something to drink.
