Little Dowager

Hot balmy afternoon.

Just had a cold shower.

Sitting in my bedroom, applying moisturiser to my body.

No work tomorrow.

Going out to the beach. With a hunk.

Suddenly it feels like Miami.

How do I even sums up how great I’ve been feeling the past few days?

My skin is glowing, my cheeks are blushed (not because of the beer) and I feel like I’m on top of the world! Even my hair is behaving itself!

Maybe my skin glows because of my recent immunity injection, maybe my hair feels softer cause of my new Herbal-ooh-ooh-Essence shampoo. But even my doctor, who last saw me 10 months ago, said I looked happier and at ease with myself.

If this is the Power of Love…. Damn, it is working well for me.

It’s only 3pm in the afternoon and I’m already researching on how to say ‘I love you’, ‘Do you love me?’ in tagalog.

TMD, why am I so gross?!

Oh boy, I love him so much!

stupid smile on face

Baby, i love you, i love you so much, but i feel that im loving u with arms tied behind my back. I am giving myself to you hun, u can either keep me or throw me away, there is no middle ground. Why are we making this hard for ourselves?

Everybody say, Awwwwwwwwww.

I think I’m really testing his patience and pushing him away until he’s not ever gonna give a shit about me anymore.

Why am I being so difficult?

I’m sucha dumbass!

I should learn to tell a little white lies sometimes.

Tell me tell me, how can I make up to a guy who’s utterly disappointed in me? Cos it appears I’m not such a good girl after all?

I think I discovered a way to eradicate my bout of loneliness.

Go home before 7pm, before the street lights turn on.

I have a strange habit of spacing out on the bus. Every streetlights and headlight turn into bokeh in my eyes. Coupled with some smooth jazz and slow jams on my ipod, it really makes me long for any form of company, and I’ve done some crazy thing because of that crazy bout of loneliness.

Smoking outside alone at 4am in the morning? Check that.

Drink myself silly in the privacy of my room? Hell yes.

Don’t even get me started on those that involves other individual. 

I think the only person who can contain my sometimes self-destructive manner is my mom. Surprise surprise.  

I totally fell for someone who is handsome, fit, tall a.k.a Mr. Totally-Out-Of-My-League.

Not only is he handsome, fit and tall, he’s funny, intelligent and witty. With a great smile to boot. Big bonus, he’s fair like a baby! Architect by training, Filipino by nationality. Best of all, he’s not a splitting image of every other guy I’ve dated in the past.

I know… I’m fucking crazy, right? I’m only getting my heart broken all over again.

I’m gonna live my life Like everyday’s the last Without a simple goodbye It all goes by so fast And now that you’re gone I can’t cry hard enough No I can’t cry hard enough For you to hear me now

Can I open my eyes And see for the first time I’ve let go of you like A child letting go of his kite

There it goes Up in the sky There it goes Beyond the clouds For no reason why I can’t cry hard enough No I can’t cry hard enough For you to hear me now

Can I look back in vain And see you standing there With all that remains Its just an empty chair And now that you’re gone I can’t cry hard enough No I can’t cry hard enough For you to hear me now

There it goes Up in the sky There it goes Beyond the clouds For no reason why I can’t cry hard enough No I can’t cry hard enough For you to hear me now